Thursday, July 15, 2010

15 July

What a bad day for me..

Woke up with no sms from him. At all..

PMS pain..

He said that his credit left only Jd1.. He said last night he's going to topup after the meeting. He lied..

He apologize for not being alert.. not concerned about my feeling. He just broke my heart last week. He did it again tonight.. Commenting her pictures. Again and again..

There's nothing left.. Just an empty feeling

Monday, July 12, 2010

July 12

Pagiku bermula dengan azam baru.. Azam? Tak.. Bukan azam. Tapi cita-cita? Pun macam bukan. Apa-apa jelah. Bangun pagi, terus makan supplement. Ikut indication kat botol putih tu, mesti masa perut kosong. Baru senang masuk dalam darah dan seterusnya transfer ke... Ke mana ek? Aku pun tak tahu. Pastu solat Subuh. Pastu golek-golek atas katil semula. Lagi sejam baru boleh makan..

Siap-siap mandi, terus pakai baju kemeja putih mama baru beli semalam. Sangat berpuas hati. Lengan walaupun agak singkat dari pergelangan tangan, tapi baju tu tutup punggung aku. Ya, bagus! Selesa nak jalan, selesa nak lari bagai. Breakfast.. Roti kapit sardin. 1keping je. Semalam dah janji dengan Aizat nak diet. Hehe

Memandu ke kolej. Sampai tingkat 8.. Eh, awal lagi. Baru 9.20pagi. Kuiz start pukul 11.00pagi. Baca la dulu. En. Firdaus tu strict orangnya. Takkan ada chance nak meniru la. Hiks. Masa nak masuk kelas, tengok nama naik kat buletin board. Adeh.. Tak abis-abis dengan MQA ni. Letihla.. Interview interview interview..

Kuiz started. 2soalan, 20 markah. Ramai suggest open book. Tapi En.Firdaus kata, dia akan deduct 50% dari markah. Aku geleng-geleng taknak. At last aku menang walaupun aku sorang yang taknak open book. Rugi la.. Kalau dapat 20/20, berapa tinggal? 10 je. Kalau betul 2? 1 markah? No no no. So menjawablah kuiz tadi dengan sendirinya. Semoga markah aku tinggi. Amin. Ha, sebelum kelas habis, En.Firdaus ada bagi lecture, bukan mengajar tapi brain wash kot? Antara ayat dia "Do u guys think u deserve education? Dont u think there're so many people out there that deserve education more than u guys but they dont have the chance?" Yes yes yes. I deserve education. But its just not my luck that I was here. U really dont know how bad my luck in this study field, Mr. Firdaus. I had struggle so many ways and wasted so many times.. Just to get this education. Though I know that.. that.. Hmm.. Its just not my luck. How I wish I could throw these words to u, Mr.Firdaus.. How I wished!!

Aku dan Jue ke Maju Junction jumpa kakak Jue, kak Liza. Wah, sangat mirip. Cuma kak Liza lagi kecik molek dan agak pendiam. Tak kecoh macam Jue. Apa-apa pun, kami cepat akrab. Dan paling buatkan hatiku.. Hatiku rasa apa ya? Bila kak Liza selalu gosok2 belakang aku. Macam satu terapi kasih sayang dari seorang kakak yang penyayang kan? Hmm..

Sampai kedai. Supplier baru hantar barang. Mama bagitau idea Papa semalam. Nak cuba pujuk Dr N dan Dr Z, some sort like.. Share partner. Untung bahagi tiga. Mama, Dr N, Dr Z. Kedai sebelah, kita ambil semula. Buat klinik. Semoga cita-cita menjadi kenyataan. Amin..